Back from Reality [TV]

I realize le blog has been a little heavy on the "Teen Mom" lately. It's just getting harder to come up with interesting details from my own life, so I have to rely on a bunch of 17-year-olds to provide the lolz. Sad? Maybe. But not really - I love my job! I don't want to say too much about it because ha ha, oops, that's never a good idea! And I definitely don't want to mess anything up here. You see, this is a job with excellent "benefits," like food stamps! Food stamps that I have not yet received, unfortunately. The day I went to DHS I called my mom when I got in the car to go home. I was so mad because being in that office sucked and I didn't even leave with any food moneyz. Oh and the whole thing about the lady getting up from our appointment to go gossip about diapers about five feet away from where I was sitting. Anyway, I became frustrated because my mom did not seem terribly outraged at how little courtesy was extended to me (and, I'm assuming, the others at the DHS office).

Me: I was kind of rude on the phone, and I told her I was sorry, but she just didn't seem as mad as I was about how terrible the DHS was.
Boyfriend: Every mom's dream...when her daughter calls to tell her she got to go to the public aid office to receive food stamps.
Me: Yep, living the dream!

Wait a second here, you mean to tell me that weird, young detective on SVU is the guy from the All State "mayhem" commercials? Ha ha, I just made the connection. Oh yes, I am watching SVU and blogging at the same time.

A few minutes ago, I had to do something sort of sad. I felt the need to delete a blog that I wrote, with contributions from friends, in high school. It was called "Amusing Convos" and featured excerpts from Instant Messenger conversations I found particularly amusing. I lol'd reading about how exciting it was to download Rihanna songs on iTunes and learn how to drive. Unfortunately, I decided that if I ever decide to pursue a career that would put me in the public eye (unlikely, but who knows, right?) I would probably be brought down by this 2006 stint on the Internet. It would totally be my "dabbling in witchcraft"-like downfall. No, I did not dabble in witchcraft (at least not on the Internet!) but I did say a bunch of things that would probably sound racist, out of context. Oops. That's the trouble with going to an international school. You say things like "Ha ha, you're Asian, so let's write this conversation for the Internet and we'll put my words in pink or another color and yours in yellow!" and your Asian friend is all like, "Ha ha, YEAH!" but if some third party read this, they would just see "And we put Jessica's part of the conversation in yellow, get it!" and that would be the end of my senate race. Actually, my senate race would probably end with a number of other things that make me unfit for political life...oh well! That saves me a lot of trouble, and I won't have to buy any tweed jackets.

Oh, here's something that has started bothering me: grocery bags. For some reason, the grocery stores around here do not have paper bags with handles. I prefer paper grocery bags, for recycling. And here, if you ask for paper, they put the groceries in the paper bag...and then put a plastic bag over it, for the handles. So unnecessary!

Clearly, I have a lot of material today. Perhaps blogging was not the wisest choice. The other day I told Boyfriend that I was going to write a blog about the boring-spiral of relationships. It was going to be about how the biggest worry I have about living together is not that we'll start hating each other and I'll be homeless. It's that we'll become this horrible boring couple that is so far removed from the way we started out. For example, when you start going out with someone and you're driving somewhere, it can be something like this...

Guy: Yeah, I really liked that movie as a child.
Girl: Me too! But the fact that all the household appliances were talking was really kind of frightening, too.
Guy: Maybe that's why I became afraid of vacuums.
Girl: You were afraid of vacuums? Wow, you're such an interesting person! What an enjoyable date we're having!

And then the fear is that one day, car rides end up like this...
Girl: Can you turn on NPR?
[Silence]
Girl: Oh hey, let's stop at Target.
Guy: Ugh, but I really want to watch the football game...
Girl: BUT I HAVE TO BUY TAMPONS!

And no one wants that. For the record, we don't fall into that second category, although we do listen to NPR in the car, like Olds.

It's a slow day for blog stuff today. My brain is fried from lack of sleep, and I mean severe lack of sleep. Bedtime is in 45 minutes tonight. Not kidding.